Breaking the myth of genetic confidence

Have you ever felt so out of place at a party, you hid in the bathroom for a while just to avoid it all?

This question was asked to us recently at a leadership development event. We were about to embark on a ‘networking’ exercise, and it was setting the stage to help those in our group who find it more difficult to network, think and recall those moments.

The question was asked. And I got a flashback which took me out of the classroom for a minute or two.

Picture a 20-year-old at an event at a bar. She’s dressed conservatively because she really didn’t know what to wear — she’s never been to a bar before, but no one knows that. Everyone wants to dance but she REALLY doesn’t, tries to make conversations last as long as possible with whomever is sitting with her on the couches, just to avoid the question of ‘do you want to dance?’. Eventually, the inevitable suggestion comes along, and she chooses to stand on the sidelines. Eventually, she detracts herself and hides in the bathroom for a bit of time, texting a friend about plans for the next weekend.

In summary, not a fun night.

In a different world, picture a 24-year-old in the office — a cool office, of course. She is presenting at an event of 100+ strangers in the room, clearly comfortable doing so. She steps down from the…